For over a decade, I’ve been constantly searching for the best metaphor for the Major League Baseball postseason experience. The contest for the best NHL playoff metaphor ended years ago, but the best baseball postseason metaphor is still out there. Is it putting a tarantula and a scorpion into a jar and shaking it up? Is it hopping into Gravedigger and doing donuts on Wall Street until the National Guard is called in?
No, those descriptions are a little too intense. There’s intensity in baseball, but it comes in bursts and waves.
I think I’ve found it. It’s Snoopy’s novel, “It Was a Dark and Stormy Night.”
It’s nonsensical. It’s intense. SO MUCH HAPPENS. But, also, it’s nonsensical. And wildly entertaining. It’s the baseball postseason. Here’s how it starts:
It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed.
You’re already recalling specific postseason memories. The shot that rang out? That’s a walk-off home run. The door slamming? That’s a cruel Game 7 defeat. The maid screaming? That’s, uh, probably a weird decision Joe Maddon once made that worked out.
Here are the postseason games of Oct. 11, 2022, as described by Snoopy’s 218-word masterpiece.
Atlanta vs. Philadelphia: Phillies hang on, ace
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