SYRACUSE, NY — In recent months, Dominic Smith has taken to journaling about his emotions and his life. Earlier this summer, Smith says, he was constantly angry. Upset all the time. In a state where, in Smith’s words, “I wasn’t happy at the field. I wasn’t happy playing baseball at all. I wasn’t happy when I did good. I wasn’t happy when I did bad.”
On the advice of a therapist he found in January, Smith began paying more attention to his mental health. Journaling became a way not only for Smith to release his emotions, but to provide evidence of times when he was not upset. By reading back on past entries, Smith found it easier to anchor himself in the present.
“We bottle so many things up as men that we don’t really understand what we’re feeling or how we’re feeling,” Smith said before playing first base on a rehab assignment Tuesday for Triple-A Syracuse. “We just hold a lot of anger, stress, anxiety, different things that we have to get out. I think journaling is big.”
It’s a habit that can help Smith as he tackles his latest challenge. Shortly after Smith sprained his right ankle in mid-July, the Mets acquired left-handed-hitting first baseman and designated hitter Daniel Vogelbach, who has thrived in a small sample. To offer additional lefty support, the Mets also traded for outfielder Tyler Naquin.
Smith saw those moves and drew the natural conclusion, that there may not be space for him in New York once he’s healthy.
Earlier this year, he says, that type of situation would have sunk his mental state. These days?
“I’m just at peace right now,” Smith said.
His prior discontent began in the early days of the season, fresh off a spring that saw him hit .423 with six extra-base hits in 26 Grapefruit League at-bats. Despite those numbers, plus some additional damage on the back fields, Smith did not start four of the season’s first six games. Throughout April, Smith remained stuck behind Pete Alonso and Robinson Canó on the depth chart. Even after the Mets designated Canó for assignment amid a prolonged slump in early May, Smith struggled to find playing time.
“I mean, coming out of the gate, you sit on the bench for three straight days after having a spring like that? Who’s going to sit here and be happy about that?” Smith said. “Mentally, I was in a bad spot.
“I went through a ton of things off the field this year that people don’t even know about. … I was never at a point where I wanted to quit … and it wasn’t even like it had to do with baseball stuff. It was just stuff not going my way in life. I just felt like things couldn’t get worse, and then they seemingly did, and it kept snowballing worse and worse. You’re trying to control everything, and you just seem like you can’t control anything.”
Asked to elaborate on his off-field issues, Smith politely declined, but he noted that therapy helped. Mindfulness helped. By the time Smith returned from a brief demotion to Syracuse in late June, he already felt like he was in a better headspace.
Smith’s on-field performance did not improve, however, and now, the only available reps for him could be with Syracuse. While manager Buck Showalter recently said the Mets will address the first baseman’s situation once he’s healthy enough to return, which could be as soon as this weekend, it’s difficult to envision Smith cracking the roster with Vogelbach, Naquin and starting first baseman Alonso all thriving.
Alonso and Vogelbach remain under team control next season as well, putting Smith’s longer-term future into just as much doubt.
“With the way I played this year, I don’t know if they want to bring me back for how much my contract is,” said the arbitration-eligible Smith, who is making $3.95 million and batting .194/.276/. 284 in the Majors.
Back in Spring Training, the Mets nearly traded Smith to the Padres in a deal that would have brought pitcher Chris Paddack to New York. Although that deal fell through, a fresh start could still be the answer for Smith, who earned National League MVP votes as recently as 2020 for a breakout performance. That was only two years ago and, as Smith noted multiple times during a 20-minute interview, “I’m still only 27. I feel like this year is not going to define my career.”
“I’m not the type of person who wants a pity party or wants people to feel sorry for me,” Smith added. “No. I don’t. I just want to go out there and handle my business. When I’m not, I understand that. I’m going to get better. I just love baseball — not like. I love baseball. And I love winning. I think that’s what brings out a lot of my emotions.”
For now, in Syracuse, Smith will try to maintain a level mental state. He believes there’s still a chance he can return to the Majors and make a significant impact for a team that continues barreling towards its first postseason berth in six years. Smith has been in the organization since 2013. He often speaks glowingly of the Mets and New York. Eventually, Smith plans to write a book about his roots in South Central Los Angeles, his rise to the Majors and all the mental and physical challenges he faced along that journey.
He’ll publish it once his playing days are complete. Said Smith, with a smile: “I’ve got some time.”
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